Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Day I Met My Girls

This is the story of how I met Lillian and Claire for the first time. Well, actually I will start with the night before.
It was Sunday, December 21, 2008 the last day Josh and I would be a family of two. We had made a date to go down to the Plaza and have our last dinner out at The Cheesecake Factory. Now I clearly was not thinking straight because the place was packed and I could not figure out why there were so many people out on a Sunday night. If I was thinking clearly, I probably would have realized this was the last Sunday before Christmas and people where out holiday shopping and dinner out. Obviously, my mind was else where this year.
So, there we were, out and about in the zero degree temperatures, I was freezing and mostly because I have not been able to zip my coat for months so my belly was out there for the frost to bite. We then had to stand and wait for a good 30-40 minutes while waiting for a table. We both enjoyed our dinner and ordered a slice of Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake to go. Before we left I went to visit the restroom since I had a lot of water and not much room to store it all. It was funny how many comments I received while in the restroom because of my size. To sum it up all the women in there learned I was having my c-section the following morning at St. Mary's in Blue Springs to meet my identical girls.

Once home, Josh and I put our feet up and watched some television. Around 11pm we pulled that slice of cheesecake out of the fridge and enjoyed every bite of it before my midnight eating curfew came. I double checked my hospital bag to make sure I had everything, even though I really had no idea what I all needed and did not at all feel prepared. We both got in our jammies and crawled into bed. I wish I could saw we both got a great nights sleep and were well rested for the following morning but that is not at all true. Neither of us slept a wink and before we knew it, 4:30 am rolled around and it was time to "wake up" and get ready to head to the hospital.

Monday, December 22 we had a record low temp for the season with -5 degrees and I think from the moment we got in the car I started shivering and it did not stop all morning. We had a short 10 minute drive to the hospital (no one else is up and moving at 5:30am). I was already registered so all I had to do is sign a bunch of paperwork and be shown to my room where I would spend the next 4 days. Josh and I were both given some highly fashionable hospital gear to put on, I was given an IV with fluids, although there was nothing I wanted more then a bottomless glass of ice water, I had blood drawn and then we wait.
Around 7am, Dr. Cobbinah, my OB, came into the room to say hello and see how I was feeling. I told her I was freezing, despite the multiple warm blankets my nurse gave me and we also talked about the mass amounts of contractions I started having as soon as I got in my gown. Pretty sure if I didn't already have my c-section scheduled for that day, my girls were ready to make their grand appearance that day with the contractions I was having. After she left the anesthesiologist came into the room to introduce himself and told me a little bit about the spinal I was about to have.
Shortly before 7:30am I walked with my nurse and Josh down the hall to the OR. I gave Josh one last hug before I walked in, he had to wait in the hall until they had me all set up and ready to go. Let me tell you, that epidural is not just a little poke like they tell you. I was sitting on the edge of the operating bed, leaning into a nurse while shivering and having contractions. I wanted nothing more then to bury my head into her chest and squeeze a tight grip on her shoulders, something I would do if it were Josh, but I had to remind myself this was a stranger and I should try to restrain myself. This procedure took many tries and it was not at all pleasant. The anesthesiologist hit several nerves which shot shooting pains down each leg in turn and caused me to jump, something I have not been able to do in months. Finally, it was done and I could feel nothing below my chest. This is the strangest feeling you can imagine, I had to remind myself to breathe. I was laying down, they put the sheet up in front of me and then here comes my rock, Josh. The moment I saw him, I was instant tears. This is the moment we had waited 37 weeks and 6 days for (that was my gestational age) but I did not feel at all prepared. I was wondering how in the world would I be able to take care of not just one baby, but two precious babies. As Josh was sitting next to me and tears still streaming, he started talking about all sorts of random things to try to keep my mind off of what was going on on the other side of that thin blue sheet. I did not feel any pain, but I did feel a lot of pressure as they pulled Lillian out at 7:48am, again I had to remind myself to breathe. I hear cheers as my baby girl started crying. It was such a magical sound. They lifted her over the sheet so I could see her. Okay, I am going to be honest here and tell you all that I did not think she was cute at that first moment. She was slimy, gray and smooshed and I thought I was going to be that women who everyone would have to lie to and say her baby was cute, but really cringe on the inside. Again I felt a lot of pressure and tugging as Claire was pulled out at 7:49am. More cheers and that magical sound of cries once again. Repeat with holding her up and those crazy thoughts of mine. Josh was in tears right along with me, gave me a kiss and went to meet our girls as they were getting cleaned up.
I was not able to see Lillian when they were cleaning her up, but Claire was right in my line of vision and I could not take my eyes off of her. She was no longer slimy and gray, but pink and beautiful. All I could see were those long legs of hers kicking around as she lay on the bed while getting her footprints done and weighed. Lillian weighed in at 6lb 4 oz and was 18.5 inches long. Claire was also 6lb 4 oz and was 19 inches long.
Josh carried one (I have no idea which baby, but I think Lillian) and the nurse carried my other baby (thinking Claire, but really no idea) over to me so I could see them both. Mind you the tears never stopped during this whole experience, but they seemed to double the moment I saw my girls all bundled and their squishy, but beautiful little faces.
Dr. Cobbinah came around the curtain, told me everything went great, congratulated me and then back to my room I went. The anesthesiologist never left my side through the surgery and followed me back to my room along with my wonderful nurse. While being wheeled back I started feeling nauseous and was certain I was about to vomit, but the trip was short and moments after my bed was back in position and I was given some meds the nausea went away. They both made sure I was feeling well before Josh and another nurse walked in with the girls around 8:30am.


I have not stopped shaking yet and that was very scary to me, but I was told this was just a side effect from the epidural and it would go away within the next few hours. So in walks Josh and my two baby girls, again tears streamed down my cheeks. My nurse asked if I would like to hold a baby, I was excited but terrified. I have been around babies almost my entire life, I have held many newborns before, but I was scared to hold my own babies. I didn't know who to hold first and how do I pick between them? How the guilt is already settling in, but Josh hands me Claire and then goes back for Lillian. It was amazing! These are my babies! I have been dreaming of them and this moment for so long, but it was all so surreal. These two little beings are now dependent on Josh and I and it is our job to not screw them up too much.
I remember sitting up in my bed for the first time and taking the first deep breath, I could feel everything shift back into place. I had not taken that deep of a breath in such a long time since the girls made themselves nice and comfy in rib cage. It was wonderful being able to breathe again.

Although neither of slept a wink the previous night, the idea of taking a nap was not even an option. I wanted to hold my babies and never put them down. Oh, but I did want water and lots of it! It was heavenly that first sip which then became draining my giant mug and there were many refills after that. So delicious! Around 11am the shaking finally ended as my epidural was wearing off. Bring on the drugs. I never once thought about turning down the pain meds and made sure to stay right on schedule with them.
Our pediatrician came that morning to check out the girls and told us they look great. They both scored 9 and 10's on their Apgar scores and their bilirubin was also perfect. He told us they would come back each morning we were there to weigh them and do whatever else it is they do. Boy, did we have the questions for him and now I have no idea what they even were, but I am sure at the time they were extremely important, or so we thought.

Really, most of the day was a blur. It went so fast and I could not believe that these two babies on my lap are mine. As I stared at them I could not figure out how they were able to fit in my belly just a few short hours before. I was also amazed at how quickly most of the swelling went down once my girls were born. I had ankles again! That night we had the nurses take the girls to the nursery so we could sleep and that was the best nights sleep I had in months. Of course when I woke up at 4am because my pain meds had wore off I was in extreme pain, but that handy call button brought my nurse and those magic pills right to my bedside.
I know this story is 14 months old, but I felt like I needed to share it with all of you and write it down so I would be sure to never forget the events of this day. My girls are amazing and I love them with all of my hearth.


Friday, February 26, 2010

Rise and Shine

This is what Friday morning looks like in our house... messy hair and dazed girls.

Claire was still trying to adjust to being awake, I had to go in and wake her abour 8:45.




Monday, February 22, 2010

Finger Painting

Yesterday for something fun and different I let the girls finger paint. Here are a few pictures of Lillian and Claire creating their masterpieces. They turned out awesome and I can't wait to put them in their frames in the playroom.




14 Months Today

Today Lillian and Claire are 14 months old, where has the time gone? I know I say it all the time, but these two little girls never seem to amaze me. They are full of so much love and laughter and I crave it when I am not with them. There are many new things going on with them, so here it goes.

Claire:
*Loves chasing Leia and trying to catch her tail.
*Is trying to hard to climb on the couch, but is not there just yet.
*Is sleeping like a champ during naps and bed time, she has always been a great sleeper.
*LOVES dancing.

Lillian:
*Loves sticking her fingers in Leia's mouth and laughs so hard.
*Is climbing over, under and through everything.
*Has decided to boycott sleeping. She would rather sit and play happily in her crib during the entire nap time and wakes up throughout the night wanting to be cuddled.
*LOVES dancing!

They are both doing great with their signs, they sign more, all done, milk, please and we are working on thank you. They are both getting really good at walking down the hall and holding my hand if I ask them to and sometimes will stop and wait for me with their hand up waiting for mine. When we ask "Do you need or bottom changed?" or "Who is ready for night night?" they both go running to their room. They are such smart girls and I feel blessed for each day I have with them.



Lillian
Claire





Wednesday, February 17, 2010

We Love Ellen!

I started watching Ellen when I was home waiting for the arrival of my girls, it always started right around the time I would get up from my afternoon nap. Hey, I didn't sleep well at night with that big belly, I deserved my naps. After they were born I continued to watch Ellen and after returning to work I started to DVR it. Well tonight was a catch up night and we were watching yesterdays show with Kellie Pickler and they played Guesstures. Lillian and Claire walked up to the television as soon as they started to play and did not stop laughing the entire time. Even when I had it in rewind so I can show Josh tomorrow they were laughing.


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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Happy Belated Valentine's Day from Lillian and Claire. We were lucky enough to spend the day together since Josh didn't have to work and we made the most of it. We started the day with only one plan, going to church that morning. As the day progressed we realized we never really stopped. After church we went grocery shopping then came home and had lunch together. The girls took a short nap and then off we went to the mall. Lillian all of a sudden became afraid of the elevator doors when they were opening and closing, but the girls sure did enjoy looking at all the people and they were a big attraction as always. That night for dinner our friends Josh and Kelly came over and we also had the chance to catch up and visit. We had a great day and I loved being able to spend it with my Valentines.


They each received a special Valentine's book from Josh and I. We gave them their presents before getting ready for church and they were more interested in the wrapping paper then anything else.

Jump, jump, jumping with laughter tonight.
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A quick side note, today marks one year since I started my blog. I have enjoyed being able to use this as a way to share the stories of Lillian and Claire with everyone. Thank you to those who have followed since the beginning and thank you to those who many have only recently started to follow.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Love, Cuddles, Mess

Lillian and Claire are becoming more and more amazing every single day and I can't see to get enough of them. Here are some pictures from the past few days.



They love being able to carry around envelopes, paper and especially love carrying around their own special cards. We discovered this at their birthday, then Christmas and now their special Valentine's from Grandma Jessie. They walk around waving them, looking at the designs, colors and they even enjoy a taste now and then.

These two little turkeys of mine sure know how to be silly. I usually have them in their cribs when getting them ready for the day, changing diapers or getting ready for bed. They tend to rip their room apart when they are able to roam free, so they need to be pinned up. Well, they have come up with this game when I go to put lotion on, put clothes on or just do their hair they quickly lay down, hide their faces and pretend they are sleeping. As you can see in this picture, they curl up with their hands by their faces to I can't get them, then they look up at me with a great big smile and hide their faces again.

They amaze me how they can make a mess out of the smallest thing! I gave them each two Mini Oreos (they are the size of a nickel) and this is what was created! Lillian was refusing to smile for the camera and this is the face she continued to give.
Claire was freely giving me smiles!
Josh gave them spaghetti for lunch on Friday and they each painted on a beard.

One last thing that they are doing lately is cuddle with each other. They will sit close together on the floor while playing or lounge and snuggle while on my couch cushion climber. Tonight Claire was trying to pick Lillian up when she was sitting down by reaching under her arm pits and trying to pull her up. Also, Lillian was reaching out and playing with Claire's hair and in a loving way, not just pulling. I love the connection they have and seeing how much they love each other. Just one more thing that amazes me about my beautiful girls.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Follow on Facebook

Just wanted to let you all know that you can now follow my blog on facebook. There is a link down and on the right and you can be updated there. Actually, I hope it is working like I have planned. Let me know if you have troubles.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

There isn't too much new going on around our house, everyone is healthy and still doing great, but I thought I would check in. Lillian is still our love bug and will cuddle all day, Claire is very independent and is always wandering around and chatting. Both girls are always chatting with each other, with Josh and I, or with anyone who is willing to listen.
Tonight when I got home from work, the girls came running up to me as soon as I walked through the door (that never gets old) Claire came and went, but Lillian came and stayed. We sat down, she was on my knee and with so much expression was telling me stories. I would do anything to know what was going through her head while she was talking to me and even using hand gestures. She sounded so excited to fill me in on her day.
Claire is continuing to climb on everything. She is trying so hard to get up on the living room chair, the coffee table, her sister, she knocks over the rocking horse to sit on it; you name it, she is on it.
In other news, I have one week left at my temp job and the dozens upon dozens of applications and resumes that are out there floating around with my name on them are getting me nowhere. I am hoping that something turns up soon. In the mean time, I am going to enjoy every single minute I get to stay home with my girls.










Sunday, February 7, 2010

Snow Day

Not much new going on around here. Lillian and Claire are both still wonderful as can be and sure know how to make me laugh. Friday is started snowing pretty hard so I left work early to head home and hopefully beat the bad roads as the day went on. I got home just as the girls were waking up from their afternoon nap and just in time to play. The three of us enjoyed staying inside the warm and dry house while Josh was outside shoveling the snow.



Saturday we went over to Uncle Baris and Aunt Maggie's house for the afternoon and had some yummy spaghetti for dinner. Claire and Lillian had so much fun chasing the cats around and seeing what they could all get into. They always enjoy getting out of the house and so do we.
Sunday was a lazy day for us. I was lucky enough to get out of the house by myself with Josh stayed home with the girls so I could go shopping.
We are still waiting on those last teeth and molars to show up. They both have some molars that are sitting right under the surface refusing to come out, hopefully soon they will make an appearance.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Hat or Bag?

When we were in Wisconsin over Christmas Grandpa Mark and Grandma Sandy gave both of the girls some cute felt holiday bags. The girls have never taken any notice of them until tonight when all of a sudden they became hats. They were walking around the living room laughing with the biggest smiles on their faces and a bag on their head. The bags kept falling over their faces, but they would just pull them back up or take them off and walk over to me with arms out ready to fix it. These two girls with two great big smiles sure do light up my life.


Look at all those teeth on Lillian and Claire.




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Tubby Time

The last few weeks tubby time has just been torture. The nights Josh is working and I have to do baths on my own is so stressful because they refuse to sit down and they are slipping and sliding all over the place. They tackle each other and think it is funny, so they get up and do it all over again. After receiving some advice from other MoM's I went out and bought some bath toys, by the way, Target sucks for bath toys! I found these foam letters and the chicas LOVED them! Of course, it probably won't be long and the novelty of them will wear off and I will have to go buy new bath toys, but that is the price I am willing to pay.